Shades Of Cool
by maureen.belle
Summary: We all know that in some Point , where Hope made appearence in the show , she and Ares had an affair , which later led to leaving Hope pregnant . But what happened when Xena found out about Hope s pregnacy ? The Story basically begins with some sort of introduction into Ares thoughts and Feelings about his relationship with Xena , in General . Read & Enjoy !
1. Heartbreaking Truths

As everyone already knows , I am Ares, God of War or better said Xena Warrior Princess΄ lap dog? I guess the second, since I have been , you know , running right behind her for years , licking the ground she is walks on and making a fool out of myself time and time again . It's been ten years now, repeating the same old pattern ... I am getting sick and tired of it, by the way, because , you know , loving somebody doesn't mean that you can't get tired of the games she keeps on playing with you . Now, you might say that I am the one to blame - which is by the way correct - , being an ass all the time , messing with her head and emotions – Well let me just tell you that's a wrong assumption since generally she is in fact the one messing with my emotions and sometimes, only sometimes I get to mess with her head too. Here you go! Now everybody's happy,right ? - Well , not anymore ...

The last events have been the final strike to our intricate relationship . Relationship? Did I actually say that?! Who am I kidding ? There was never a relationship , wake up Ares, you're day dreaming again! ...

So , to give you an exact image of what has actually happened , a brand new dark and destructive spirit - darker than me- the God of War himself - called Dahak has entered our world . As I learned - from our little plots together- he has been planning on bringing Hell ruling over humanity for awhile now, which is a really interesting idea , I might add. . He even brought a companion with him Hope , who was for a very unexplainable reason given birth by ... that blonde Medusa - you all know who I am talking about - which by the way involves Xena too .

Now...what in Zeus΄ name does Xena have to do with all this dirty work , and why did that ass got her and Blondie involved you might ask yourselves? Ok, that would be a fair question...

But let΄s get back to the real case here , the reason why Xena kicked me out of her life , again...So the thing is that this new young cunt Hope likes to rub her hole on my cock - you know what I mean - and " accidently " got pregnant , with MY child . Now that's a great reason to boil mad about, wouldn't you say? – Again, I am talking about Xena , here - .

But , my dear, precious Princess , my one million dinar question for you here is why are you even upset about it , anyway , huh ? I mean , you are the one who always rejects me, yelling in my face how much you despise me , the one who wants to rip out my heart - or at least what's left of it - into millions of pieces and to top it all, the one who consistently claims that doesn't give a flying fuck about me ... How do you explain all of that , huh ?

I go on and on, pouring my heart to you , offering it to you on a plate , without you even have it ordered, while you make sure to give me every time the ultimate punch, sending me back from where I came from . And now, right out of nowhere, I feel disgusted and hurt about my own actions ? Unfreakingbelievable ! I mean , in order to let you live a peaceful life with your little friend , I have to move on too , right ? Or do you prefer playing double cards ? Like , you already have Gabrielle washing your feet , why can΄t you have Ares , the fool washing your vagina every time you're in the mood, huh? Sounds like a plan !

As determined as I am to finally give this dirty cunt a painful kick out of my life , I can΄t resist to open up a portal , ready to locate her. And when I finally do ... well ... surprise, surprise! I don't really like what I see! .

She is sitting on the wet ground , under some tree , wearing a black nightgown - which as I recall was a gift I gave to her, a long time ago- . She hasn't been wearing it since she switched paths, joining that jerk , my brother - you already know his name - into the light. How romantic ! The two of them fell in love, fucked each other good and then took separate ways . Now, you must surely realise what a fucking bitch she literally is !

As I take a closer look at her face, I can see an unchecked tear ... drops streaming down her beautiful visage . I must be going crazy . Has it been raining earlier or something ? Has she been .. crying ... ? What the Hell could have happened to her? Why is she crying? Damn it ! Like I don΄t know why she is crying . It is so God damn obvious ! And you are the one to blame , AGAIN !

Despite the rage I'm still feeling, I want so desperately to just go there , pull her into a long , warm embrace and whisper into her ear that everything is going to be alright, that this tramp , Hope and that baby of hers mean absolutely nothing to me . I want so bad to tell her that this baby was just one of Dahok's creations, part of his devilish plans and it has nothing to do with me . She΄s hurting , damn ! How do I always end up hurting her ?

Staring back at her now, I see that this is going to be a long night and since everything's fucked up between us - FLASH NEWS , there is no " us " - anyway , whatever you want to call it , it just doesn't matter anymore , I have to go there , make things clear and then ... walk away ... for good…

I materialise just a few yards away from her, still completely clueless about what I have to say in order not to hurt her any longer , and I just stand there, staring at her , trying to reach her thoughts and failing miserably . Surprised to see that she hasn't spoken yet , I make my way to where she is uncomfortably sitting . When I am right in front of her , I bend down and position myself opposite her flawless form . She is so painfully gorgeous and it hurts me to have her slipping right through my fingers .

The moonlight is washing all over her face now, creating a fairytale - like illusion . Her blue moons softly brighten up the darkness and her lips seem like they have been swimming into red wine . So unmistakeably beautiful ! Eager to start the fight of the day - because we all know that it will somehow lead right there - I break the silence ...

" If the reason you΄re crying about is ... you know what ... then let me explain to you and then I΄ll just go , I swear "

She finally notices my presence and decides to look at me after all those long minutes of denying it. And when she does , I have to curse myself for it ... everything that I am and do , anyway . She seems so lost and helpless . Did I cause all that ? Unbelievable ! How can you cause pain of loss to somebody that hates you with all every fibre of her being?

Aphrodite keeps telling me that hate is something you can only feel for somebody you truly love , but I this is not always the case . I mean this is Xena we΄re talking about , she can΄t have feelings for me , right ?

" Hey ... " I speak gently and shift my hand to wipe her fresh , painful tears . She shivers at my touch , just for a split second , before she takes control again , but long enough for me to notice . The next thing I know, I pull her into my arms and possessively hold her for dear life . I can feel her tears wetting my cloak and then reaching my chest , burning my soul . I let a couple of tears roll down my own face too , as aware of the fucked up mess we are both in . Then , resting my head on her own . I allow her to rest her shattered soul in my embrace, watching her drift to sleep .


	2. West Coast

( Before we go on, I would like to express my genuine gratitude towards Anca . You are a powerful inspiration and help! Thank you, a lot ! )

( Also , the song I used in the story is being called " West Coast " by Lana Del Rey . I recommend you to listen to it while reading the chapter . You will feel the lush I felt while writing it . )

( Ok , so now back to the story )

" Down on the West Coast they got a sayin'

"If you're not drinkin' then you're not playin'."

But you've got the music, you've got the music in you, don't you? "

A peaceful, calming breeze caresses my face . I can hear thousands of birds singing a loving , gentle song somewhere in the background. I feel a sweet warmness travelling all over my body, causing my mind to shut down any kind of thought about the past , the future or ... even the present , which is rare for me because as you might have realized I am an over thinking person, always examining things just to end up getting nowhere .

My feet are nailed on the wet, mushy ground , its mud softening the burning pain inside my chest, fighting with the harrowing, vivid pain that has been keeping my eyes from opening- which feels unexplainably good , though . I don„ t even want them open .

My heart has left its place and it is now wandering around like a butterfly , spreading her colorful , long wings and flying carelessly ... And just for a single moment I can say that ... I like it ... It has been a long time since I„ ve felt this way ... and it is a beautiful emotion ...

" Down on the West Coast I get this feeling

Like it all could happen that's why I'm leaving

You for the moment, you for the moment, Boy Blue, yeah, you "

Then , right out of nowhere, I realize where this whole serenity comes from ... I should have seen it coming ... I am dreaming ... I remember having had such dreams when I was back in Amphipolis , comfortably wrapped inside the warmth of my blanket…. .The soft tingling sensation of safety and belonging devouring my soul . I miss those days , my home , my overprotecting mother , my naughty brothers - playing with my dad's old, rusty swords , mom running behind them screaming to take care of themselves aware of the dangerous and dark weapons they were holding in their hands . I used to hate such games… That„ s why I always used to stay locked in my room , reading poetry or playing with ... oh ... never mind . This is quite ironic, wouldn t you say? The Warrior Princess reading poetry as a little girl! But , you all know how much I hate poetry , right ?

" You're falling hard, I push away, I'm feelin' hot to the touch

You say you miss me, and I say I miss you so much

But something keeps me really quiet, I'm alive I'm a lush

Your love, your love, your love "

Well , it used to be way different back then. That is exactly why I hate HIM with every fiber of my being ... He disgusts me ... I despise every single thing about HIM . I hate him , hate him , hate him , hate him ... with every beat of my aching heart ... !

Why did things have to turn out this way ? Honestly , I am so sick and tired of this ... How much betrayal , how much hurt am I willing to accept ? How many times am I willing to die, to finally take the damn decision of giving up on this sickness he represents once and for all ? Why do I love him so much ?! Why is he still in my heart , in my soul , why is he out of all people the reason I breathe, the reason I cry , the reason I smile , the reason I LIVE , the reason I DIE ?!

He has always been the reason why ... Thank Gods , I've finally stopped dreaming about him- at least tonight, that is . Things seemed to have got back to normal , again . You know, the usual…. He goes fucking every life form in existence and I go doing the same, just out of spite! The last thing I want is for him to think that he has any control over me

…He obviously does, but he doesn't need to know that, does he? Plus , this time everything is different . He is now going to have a ... baby, and with none other than HER ... This little tramp , Hope ... If only I could rip out her guts and have her eat them , then , then I might find some comfort in the thought…. But why bother , anyway ? He can do whatever he likes ... I wish I could do the same . Sadly though, I cannot! He has me enslaved like a fuck doll ... I sometimes feel embarrassed about the whole situation ... I can't even recognize my self any longer ... It's strange…I didn„ t use to be that kind of woman... What would my mother say if she saw me like that !? Probably , she would feel sorry for me . Because , well , look at me ! Listen to the way I sound ! ...

I open my eyes wide . I want to memorize every single detail of this extraordinary scenery , just to curse myself the moment I notice HIM standing right there , just a few steps away from me…. right where the waves crush . He is half naked and all I can see is his stunning back . Right when I decide to turn my back and run as far as I can from what I know is going to lead to a heartbreaking nightmare, everything shuts down . I can no longer think or sense ... a thing ... I feel numb and ... free ... It„ s like the waves have cleansed my mind and emotions . Have you ever felt this way ? It„ s an absolutely amazing sensation ! All I can do now is walk towards him ... I take small steps , enjoying the smell of his ravishingly dark aroma , getting stronger and stronger ...

" I can see my baby swingin'

His Parliament's on fire and his hands are up

On the balcony and I'm singing

Ooh, baby, ooh, baby, I'm in love

I can see my sweet boy swayin'

He's crazy y Cubano como yo, my love

On the balcony and I'm saying

Move baby, move baby, I'm in love

I'm in love (I'm in love)

I'm in love (I'm in love) "

Indeed , the scenery is breathtaking, definitely something worth immortalizing ... Despite what my mind is now screaming at me, I feel a rush through my body , the infinite fire of love , burning me in cold blood . Nothing compares to this moment, here with him . His love, my drug . Surviving a day without it it's unthinkable. His passion- the sweetest, reddest wine . I am falling hard . I hit rock bottom ... but I don„ t care too much about it, not anymore ... He reaches down , searching for my hand , closing his fingers around mine . I lean into his shoulder and he pulls me down on the soft ground... I close my eyes one more time, completely surrendering to his arms ... His loving, warm embrace ... It„ s like dawn has been born inside me. I can feel the warm rays of the sun heating my skin , shining on my face , tingling my eyelids, and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that what I m feeling right now is happiness

" Down on the West Coast, they love their movies

Their golden gods, and rock and roll groupies

And you've got the music, you've got the music in you, don't you? "

I feel his strong arms circling my body and his warm breath is on my forehead . He plants bright , little kisses on it , while I let a small smile caress my lips at his affectionate gesture of genuine, unselfish love ... The sweet kisses continue their way down on my neck , getting lower and lower from there , until the velvet fabric blocks their way . To my surprise though, he doesn't try to remove it. He raises his head and looks deeply into my eyes , instead ... I can see all the love he has been saving for me all those years of hurt and betrayal about ... It is all there, intact, as if our tormenting past couldn't touch it at all….

There is a moment of complete silence and then , without me even realising it , his lips crush on my own and we share a really long and passionate kiss , his tongue wandering inside my mouth , devouring every single inch of it . It tastes like summer wine ... Paradise in my mouth ...

" You push it hard, I pull away, I'm feeling hotter than fire

I guess that no one ever really made me feel that much higher

Te deseo, carlito, boy, it's you I desire

Your love, your love, your love "

It is you I desire , it„ s you I desire , you , you , you , you ... I can not resist anymore ... Having his warm , loving tongue setting my whole body on fire is tempting me beyond limits ... I lay down on the mud and I am waiting for him to ride me ...

I can see my baby swingin'

His Parliament's on fire and his hands are up

On the balcony and I'm singing

Ooh, baby, ooh, baby, I'm in love

I can see my sweet boy swayin'

He's crazy y Cubano como yo, my love

On the balcony and I'm saying

Move baby, move baby, I'm in love

I can see my baby swingin'

His Parliament's on fire and his hands are up

On the balcony and I'm singing

Ooh, baby, ooh, baby, I'm in love

I can see my sweet boy swayin'

He's crazy y Cubano como yo, my love

On the balcony and I'm saying

Move baby, move baby, I'm in love

I'm in love

I'm in love


End file.
